Category: Uncategorized

March 7, 2016

LOL4EVR

I’m traveling (when am I not traveling), and one of the fun parts of being on the road, besides traffic – insert a strong tone of sarcasm here – is enjoying random acts of creativity from others. Case in point, the license plate I passed this evening that read “LOL4EVR.”

I think it’s safe to share this driver’s license plate number as long as I don’t mention which state I’m in. Just assume I’m permanently in the state of confusion, and we’ll always be on the same page.

Who was driving this license plate down the interstate? Nope, not a millennial or any other semblance of a regular social acronym/emoticon user. It was a man in his late 60s. And what sage advice!

For those who aren’t aware, or may literally live under a rock, “LOL” means “laugh out loud.” Ironically, when I Google it, I get a page full of options for “league of legends,” but don’t let that confuse you. Unless you’re in the same state that I am, in which case, welcome home.

Laughter is my all time favorite sound, second only to a warm summer breeze tickling the leaves of a deciduous tree, but I digress. On the flight that came before tonight’s car rental, I actually removed my noise canceling earphones to listen to a child in the seat behind me. Trust me, I’m usually using them because of a child in the seat behind me, but this one was laughing hysterically, and I could not help but to absorb the full breadth of her joy and swim in it.

I love to hear laughter, I love to laugh and I love to laugh at myself. I also love reminders to do so, like from messages on random license plates and in text messages that feel compelled to end with something other than a simple period or exclamation mark. If we really did LOL every time we typed it, the world would be one hell of a great place to live in, wouldn’t it?

Here’s hoping you’re LOLing wherever you are – or at least chuckling. Maybe snickering. Or letting out a much needed guffaw. Chortling, perhaps? I know, snorting!

Spread the joy, my friends!! LOL

January 8, 2016

Let’s Talk

Those of you who’ve read my novel, “Control Switch,” know that I’m a dialogue junky. I love it in novels; I love it in life.

Communication is the rich thread that weaves our lives together and gives power to our heart’s desires. It can both repair and destroy, and I would loathe living in a world where it didn’t exist. That’s why my heart aches for a woman who lived without it tonight.

I just finished sitting beside a young woman and her grandmother in a restaurant. Initially, I smiled when they sat down, thinking how refreshing it was to see them spending “quality time” together. But my smile soon disappeared. Why? The granddaughter proceeded to pull out her phone and stay on it through the entire meal. The only words she spoke to the beautiful soul across from her were, “Do you want cheese on that?” and “What do you want to drink?” She might as well have been the woman’s waitress.

From where I sat I could see the grandmother’s eyes, and she appeared ill at ease and heartbroken. I could also see the girl’s phone, and the thing that kept her from engaging and was so important? Facebook.

I know, I know – we see this all the time – but I’ll never come to terms with it. I love my technology as much as the next girl, and I spend my fair share of time using it, but it takes a backseat when I have someone I care about sitting across, beside or anywhere near me. Hell, I don’t even scroll through my newsfeed when I’m sitting across from someone I don’t care about!

This couple is another case in point. I sat beside them in a park for over an hour a few months ago, and not a word got spoken between them.

I implore those of you who give a shit to put your phones down and talk to the people that hold a place in your heart. They may not all have an online profile, but they do have a profile, nonetheless. A real one full of rich memories, dreams and stories worth hearing.

Let’s talk in hopes of never becoming that grandmother. Let’s talk to foster understand. Let’s talk to encourage love.

December 19, 2015

Maybe It’s Because . . .

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have children.

Maybe it’s because I’ve spent the last year being actively grateful.

Maybe it’s because I’ve decluttered and scaled down to just the things that truly bring me joy.

Maybe it’s because I’ve spent all of my Christmases, since the age of two, in the house my father built, and I dread the day that I no longer can.

Maybe it’s because I’ve finally figured out what matters – who matters – and why the things that shouldn’t don’t.

Regardless, I’m feeling both joyous and melancholy about Christmas this year. My favorite carols have been putting a literal song in my heart and a lump in my throat the size of a chestnut roasted on an open fire.

I treasure this time of year with family, and I want it to stay the way it’s always been – every year – forever.

Maybe that’s because of love.

December 9, 2015

FULLY DECLUTTERED!!

I did it! I am officially decluttered and surrounded by joy. I still have
one or two things to take care of, namely the in-depth reading of old journals and letters, and the transferring of a few VHS tapes onto my computer using this handy dandy device (get one; they rock) —>

My overall place, however? I LOVE IT!

A quick recap for those who missed my prior posts: I started this project in May, which has entailed decluttering using the Konmari Method spelled out in, “The Life-Changing Method of Tidying up.” In it, author Marie Kondo suggests discarding items based solely on one criterion: whether or not they bring you joy.

First step involved clothing, followed by books, then papers, and eventually junk drawers and miscellaneous items. This past weekend I completed the most challenging category: all things sentimental (pictures, souvenirs, etc.). Left until the end, this portion is theorized to be much easier once the rest of your place is brimming with joy, and it’s true! You don’t want anything around by this point that doesn’t do it for you.

Think about your photographs, for example. You know how you flip through an album (for those of us who still own such things), and on every fifth one or so you stop and smile? Ditch the four scenery pics you took somewhere that escapes your memory, and keep only the smile inducing one. I scaled down three entire albums, and the stray pics that were stuffed in a large box full of nonsense are now neatly tucked into one small container. I threw out a lot, and I’ll never miss the ones that went. All of my pics now make me smile.

I also got rid of a lot of greeting cards. I tended to keep most of them over the years, but think about it. Do I really need 20 cards from my Grandpa? No. I need one. Again, I still have letters to read, but they’re now scaled down to one small container, too, and some night I’ll read each one by a roaring fire. Handy for those that will no doubt beg to be incinerated.

I must admit, something I found I’ve missed during this process is the written word. I get emails from my mother and friends now, and I do save a lot of them in specially marked folders, but I loved the days when a long, newsy letter would arrive from home full of hometown clippings, recipes and updates on family milestones. And who could even consider ditching their official Sonny and Cher Fan Club acceptance letter? Not this girl. Smile inducing.

I’ve learned a lot about myself through this process, and trust me – this is not the first time I’ve de-cluttered. Those who know me know that I purge a minimum of once a year, but this truly is as “life-changing” as touted. The author swears that once you’ve done this, you’ll never revert to your old ways, and I believe it. Every closet and drawer that I started with six months ago remains joyously unchanged. Now when I walk in my door, I feel peaceful and happy. I look around my place and a sense of serenity envelopes me. I don’t just have a room to go to when I want to get away from it all; I have an entire home. And it feels like a “home” now instead of just an apartment to store stuff in and get some sleep. It’s my joyous space, and my creativity has ramped up significantly as a result.

I strongly recommend buying this book and taking on this project for yourself. It’s the ultimate catharsis that literally takes you from burdened to enlightened. You’ll weed through what you’ve hidden your joy behind and find your most authentic expression of self.

Can “things” really have that level of effect on us? You betcha.

If you make one resolution for 2016, resolve to surround yourself with nothing but joy. You’ll be amazed at who emerges in the end.

“JOY” TO THE WORLD!

November 18, 2015

Should I, or Shouldn’t I?

An update on the decluttering exercise:

For those of you who have been following my little (not so little) adventure in ridding myself of excess, you’ll know that I started this project in the month of May. Yes, May. Unless I’m mistaken, however, Marie Kondo, author of the advice dolling book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” suggests completing this project within a six month timeframe (I’m sure I read that), so I would appear to be right on target. Not that I’m actually finished, but I’m close.

I’ve reported so far on cleaning out my clothes closet, disposing of books and ditching excess paper, but the project has gone far beyond that. Since my last report I have gone through CDs, DVDs, dishes, towels, linens, kitchen utensils, buttons, craft and office supplies, and even the dreaded junk drawer. I haven’t kept a complete tally on what’s gone out the door, but I know it’s over 20 bags of clothes and household items to Goodwill along with over 10 bags of garbage to the dumpster. It’s shocking to take stock to this extent and extremely rewarding.

What I’m most thrilled about is that the “life-changing” part holds true. At least, it does for me. Here are a few examples of how:

My clothes closet looks exactly like it did six months ago. No lie. And I still love it.
I’ve completely changed the way I shop. I’ve bought clothes since starting this project but nothing for my home. I have no interest.
When I do buy clothes, I make sure that they genuinely bring me joy.
Nothing new has gone into my junk drawer in months. Seriously. It looks like this —>
I’m wearing and using things that I’d stored away for God knows what reason. I may have mentioned this before, but I found – after going through my clothes – that the items that brought me the most joy were the ones that I’d been wearing the least. Well, I wear them now, and I’m finding my truest and most joyous sense of style. So fun!

Why did I entitle this blog “Should I, or Shouldn’t I?” I’m torn about one horrendous pile of nonsense: journals. I’ve dug out approximately 30 of them, and they cover approximately the last ten years of my life. Although I highly doubt I’ll keep any, should I read them before they’re disposed of? Do I want to delve into the blithering nonsense of my younger self? Don’t we primarily write in journals, because we’re working through one issue or another? Part of me just wants to throw them in the fire and be done with it.

What would you do? Have you collected journals over the years? Have you read them at various stages and been glad you did, or did they just stir up a lot of crap that didn’t need revisiting? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

In the meantime, this picture shows all that’s left to be sorted. It doesn’t look like much, but in this mess are piles and files of sentimentality, including: family correspondence, love letters, greeting cards, newspaper clippings, postcards, pictures, negatives, etc., etc. < sigh > I may need to journal after this.

Stay tuned, my friends . . .

November 2, 2015

How to See Yourself

I’ve been on this planet for a number of years at this point, and I’ve heard a lot of words of wisdom from folks. Most of those words came from patients during my active nursing career; a lot of them came from the dying. None, however, were as deep and meaningful as those shared by my dear friend, Jenesse Aurandt.

During the course of her battle with terminal breast cancer, Jenesse attended her own version of an accelerated spiritual learning program. I was blessed to sit in as a class proctor of sorts, benefiting from her thirst for answers and willingness to share. Periodically, I will be passing some of her teachings along to you through this blog. Tonight I’ll share one I was reminded of only recently.

Several years ago, while commiserating over some inane self-concept issue, Jenesse listened to me intently before shaking her head in disagreeance and saying:

“See yourself through the eyes of the people who love you.”

The woman had an acute ability to sift through bullshit and speak her insightful mind. This comment gave me definite pause for thought.

“In fact, see yourself the way I see you, and you can never go wrong,” she added.

Standing on the doorstep of inevitable death gives a person unsurpassed perspective. I can say this, because I’ve seen it firsthand – particularly during my four years of working on an oncology unit. Dare I say that the large majority of patients that I cared for said that getting cancer was the greatest gift they’d ever been given – even when terminal. Jenesse said the same thing. Her cancer brought clarity, and clarity brought her freedom from misconceptions and the trappings of the mundane.

For the longest time I remembered to put myself behind her eyes, and those of other friends and family, and see myself from a different perspective. It helped – a lot – but somewhere along the line I forgot and dropped the practice. Life, I suppose. It tends to distract from healthy approaches to most things.

Who reminded me to try it again? My good friend and podcast cohost, Mike C. Matthews. He didn’t say exactly what Jenesse said, but he made it clear that doubting myself was unwarranted. He simply reminded me that self-doubt is generated, quite literally, from the “self,” and that sometimes the best judgements of who we are come from those closest to us.

Be careful about where your opinions about you are coming from. Be careful about seeking them out in ineffective and potentially damaging ways. Instead, vow to show yourself the love and respect of those who objectively see your soul and purpose. Do this, and I promise, “you can never go wrong.”

October 19, 2015

Friends, I Need Your Help

This week I had the immense pleasure of meeting Joan Lunden after she spoke at Baylor Health Care System’s breast cancer luncheon, “Celebrating Women.”

Joan was diagnosed with the extremely aggressive form of breast cancer, triple negative, in 2014. She is now blessed to be in remission, following extensive treatment.

This woman’s speech moved me for two reasons:

Joan educates. Having interviewed Dr. Susan Love five years prior to her diagnosis, Joan went in for her mammogram armed with the knowledge that having dense breast tissue indicated the need to add ultrasound to her annual diagnostic testing. Joan’s mammogram showed no sign of cancer. Her ultrasound, however, did.
Joan cares. She is less than a year out from the time of diagnosis, and her travel/speaking schedule would tire the healthiest among us. She’s on a mission to inform, save lives and remind women that it’s okay to put themselves first to protect their physical and mental wellbeing.

Joan survived breast cancer. My friend, Jenesse, and my cousin, Judy, did not.

I’m heeding Ms. Lunden’s calls to action. I don’t have dense breast tissue, but I’m here to plead with my friends to find out, during their next mammogram, whether or not they do. Ask, and request an ultrasound as a supplemental diagnostic.

I’m also making the decision to put aside the next couple of months to get centered and create a solid practice of not burning my candle at both ends. This is where I need the help of my friends:

Be patient with me if I disappear for a while and you don’t hear from me.

Be forgiving if I turn down some of your invitations to social events.

Be welcoming when I resurface as a better version of moi.

I will be spending a lot of time with a few choice friends during my absence: the characters in my second novel. “Seasoned With Pepper” is begging for completion, and, sadly, the less time I’m able to spend on it, the more stressed I feel. It’s time to focus on focusing, so I’ll thank you in advance for your support and hug you on my return.

Joan Lunden’s ultrasound saved her life, and although I’d heard stories of survival in the past, this woman’s journey spoke to me in a new and impactful way. We’re all so incredibly blessed to have our health. Protect that and find your balance. We’re all worth it.

July 28, 2015

Amélie’s – No Atmospheric Pressure

Most of you know that I love to write, but few know where I love to write.

Writers have very unique preferences on atmosphere. I have a friend who requires a specific CD to be playing while sipping java from her favorite mug and wearing a particular ensemble. Most simply flourish in either complete seclusion or amidst the noise and visual stimulation of a public place. I prefer the latter, but I dream about one latter in particular. I yearn to write in Paris.

I have actually been to Paris – causing me to now crave its passion like a teenaged girl after a summer kiss – but, sadly, I’ve never gone there just to write.

I currently fly a lot domestically for work, which has created an obsession with rewards programs that borders on embarrassing. The goal? To earn enough points to visit Paris – alone – and spend several weeks in cafés with creativity, wine and flirtatious grins overflowing in abundance. But what to do in the meantime?

There’s only one answer: Go to South Carolina. Yes, South Carolina.

I recently had a work assignment in Rock Hill – a quaint and peaceful little town wrapped in southern charm just south of Charlotte, NC. With a little time to spare, I explored the main street and stopped in at a local café/bakery called Amélie’s.

Instantly my creative self got whisked up in a cloud of euphoria and dropped down in front of the most glorious pastries I’ve seen since rue des Abbesses. And the taste? Pure Parisian.

The decor, however, inspired me before the flavor’d had a chance. A kaleidoscope of whimsical, old world funk, my eyes jolted from unique piece to unique piece in a state of awe. The upside down Eiffel Tower transformed into a hanging lamp; the stunning fixture made of kitchen utensils at the front entrance; the eclectic collection of mismatched chairs and tables dispersed throughout the place. I found myself thinking, ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’ everywhere I turned. The woman that did think of that? Part owner and designer extraordinaire, Brenda Ische.

The face behind the counter topped off the experience for me. She approached wearing a stylish chapeau with the perfect accessory of aloof yet receptive French hospitality. Not to mention l’accent du pays. Voila! L’image était complète.

The service, the food, the decor and the music (standards in both French and English) summoned my creative spirit like Lazarus from the grave. I never wanted to leave.

Amélie’s currently has four locations: one in Rock Hill, two in Charlotte, and one in Atlanta. And I’m not the only one who loves all that there is love about this place. The April edition of Buzz Feed magazine listed Amélie’s as one of the top “23 Bakeries Around the World You Need to Eat at Before You Die.” I list it as the number one bakery that you need to visit 23 x 10 times before you die.

This authentic feeling café has the perfect atmosphere for my authentic self in full artistic mode, which begs me to literally beg…

“Amélie, come to Dallas. I need you. My readers need you. S’il vous plait!”

July 8, 2015

File This Under, “Never Again!”

For those who have been following my blog posts about de-cluttering, I’m here with step three. As previously mentioned, the Konmari Method suggests going in order of clothes first, books second and papers third. My first post, from May 19th, discussed my process of discarding ten huge garbage bags of clothing to Goodwill. My second post filled you in on how I scaled down from a trunkful of books to approximately 18 that give me joy and will continue to grace my bookshelves.

Did I take the remaining 120 or so books to Goodwill, as well? Some of them, but I also took the opportunity to turn my book purge into a social event, and it was a huge success. I highly recommend this as an addition to Marie Kondo’s many suggestions.

You will require the following:

– A group of readers (I invited women over on a Friday after work)

– Several bottles of wine

– Snacks

– Background music

– Laughter

– Instructions to take as many books home as desired – for free

I also threw in a few household items, knowing that one of our younger coworkers would be getting her first apartment next month. We had a lot of fun, and we got to know each other outside of the office. That is never a bad thing. Well, mostly never. With this group, it was awesome.

In this last couple of weeks I tackled papers. Yowza! You’ll have to trust me on this, since I didn’t do a “before” picture of my filing cabinet, but it was literally packed full, from top to bottom, leaving little room for more.

This is the “after” pic of my filing cabinet, and the bottom drawer now holds only a handful of empty files in case I need them, which I won’t. Old owner’s manuals, warranties, taxes greater than ten years old, paperwork from acquiring my U.S. immigration status, paperwork for nursing license applications, etc., even receipts for things that I no longer own – GONE!

The file contents that classify as “personal” have been set aside until I get to the last part of the de-clutter challenge – sentimental belongings (this one I dread the most).

Anyway, things just keep feeling lighter around here. I’m also happy to report that my clothes closet has not changed since I first organized it, and the only books I’ve bought are Kindle versions. It is my plan to never go back to unnecessary clutter again.

Okay, next up? Junk drawers, which pretty much defines all of my drawers, except those in the bedroom that now look organized, neat and joyful.

Stay tuned, and here’s hoping that I don’t burn out the motor of my shredder with this mountainous stack of nonsense ——>

July 1, 2015

Harnessing the Power of Difference

What an amazing week! The Dutch sued their government over inaction on climate change and won, and this (see below picture) was airing on the television over baggage claim when my plane landed in Dallas on Friday:

WOW!

I love it when people have a voice and are actually heard. I love it when acceptance and tolerance win out over intolerrance and judgement. I really love it when my friends are given the same right as the rest of us to commit to the ones they love. This makes me happy and alot of other folks, as well.

What else do I love? Positive change and difference, and it’s for that reason that I have jumped headlong into a really cool project: Co-host of the Podcast, “The Matthews and McGuire Show,” where Mike Matthews and myself work to “Harness the Power of Difference.”

Mike Matthews is my accountability partner and very good friend, despite the fact that we’re literally worlds apart in so many ways. We explain all of our differences in our first episode, so I’ll spare you the reiteration here. You can take a listen via the following link:

THE MATTHEWS AND McGUIRE SHOW

I’m really excited about this project, because it’s inclusive and positive. I do hope that you check it out and come back for further episodes. And visit us at our “Matthews and McGuire” Facebook page. We’d love to hear your comments/feedback and suggestions for future topics.

Harness the power, my friends, and keep on loving your neighbor. 🙂

Leana Delle (McGuire)

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