Those of you who’ve read my novel, “Control Switch,” know that I’m a dialogue junky. I love it in novels; I love it in life.
Communication is the rich thread that weaves our lives together and gives power to our heart’s desires. It can both repair and destroy, and I would loathe living in a world where it didn’t exist. That’s why my heart aches for a woman who lived without it tonight.
I just finished sitting beside a young woman and her grandmother in a restaurant. Initially, I smiled when they sat down, thinking how refreshing it was to see them spending “quality time” together. But my smile soon disappeared. Why? The granddaughter proceeded to pull out her phone and stay on it through the entire meal. The only words she spoke to the beautiful soul across from her were, “Do you want cheese on that?” and “What do you want to drink?” She might as well have been the woman’s waitress.
From where I sat I could see the grandmother’s eyes, and she appeared ill at ease and heartbroken. I could also see the girl’s phone, and the thing that kept her from engaging and was so important? Facebook.
I know, I know – we see this all the time – but I’ll never come to terms with it. I love my technology as much as the next girl, and I spend my fair share of time using it, but it takes a backseat when I have someone I care about sitting across, beside or anywhere near me. Hell, I don’t even scroll through my newsfeed when I’m sitting across from someone I don’t care about!
This couple is another case in point. I sat beside them in a park for over an hour a few months ago, and not a word got spoken between them.
I implore those of you who give a shit to put your phones down and talk to the people that hold a place in your heart. They may not all have an online profile, but they do have a profile, nonetheless. A real one full of rich memories, dreams and stories worth hearing.
Let’s talk in hopes of never becoming that grandmother. Let’s talk to foster understand. Let’s talk to encourage love.
Catherine Shindle
January 8, 2016 — 2:36 am
Recently spent time with my granddaughter and her cousins. Didn’t spend much “quality time” with them since they were always “face down” into their phones. Minesweeper and other games were their focus and I don’t have an answer for it.
Janet Pickard
January 8, 2016 — 3:28 am
I grew up before the cellphone era took our constant attention. It’s everywhere now. When you eat, at work even, definitely before and after that period. I remember when people justified having phones at work just in case an emergency occurred. Now Administration has to try to make rules to keep us from using them during job. It would be great if we remembered the people with us and spent our attention on them.
Times have changed- maybe not always for the best.
John
January 8, 2016 — 11:34 am
Yes, it is a new development, but I feel–like all bad habits–it can wreck all good intentions. I’ve read it, I’ve heard it, and I believe it: giving of our attention, our ability to listen, is a fantastic gift. And, of course, what we can learn and what we can receive by giving our full attention is the real-time “good stuff” of life. Thank you for writing Leana!