Leana Delle

I’m traveling (when am I not traveling), and one of the fun parts of being on the road, besides traffic – insert a strong tone of sarcasm here – is enjoying random acts of creativity from others. Case in point, the license plate I passed this evening that read “LOL4EVR.”

I think it’s safe to share this driver’s license plate number as long as I don’t mention which state I’m in. Just assume I’m permanently in the state of confusion, and we’ll always be on the same page.

Who was driving this license plate down the interstate? Nope, not a millennial or any other semblance of a regular social acronym/emoticon user. It was a man in his late 60s. And what sage advice!

For those who aren’t aware, or may literally live under a rock, “LOL” means “laugh out loud.” Ironically, when I Google it, I get a page full of options for “league of legends,” but don’t let that confuse you. Unless you’re in the same state that I am, in which case, welcome home.

Laughter is my all time favorite sound, second only to a warm summer breeze tickling the leaves of a deciduous tree, but I digress. On the flight that came before tonight’s car rental, I actually removed my noise canceling earphones to listen to a child in the seat behind me. Trust me, I’m usually using them because of a child in the seat behind me, but this one was laughing hysterically, and I could not  help but to absorb the full breadth of her joy and swim in it.

I love to hear laughter, I love to laugh and I love to laugh at myself. I also love reminders to do so, like from messages on random license plates and in text messages that feel compelled to end with something other than a simple period or exclamation mark. If we really did LOL every time we typed it, the world would be one hell of a great place to live in, wouldn’t it?

Here’s hoping you’re LOLing wherever you are – or at least chuckling. Maybe snickering. Or letting out a much needed guffaw. Chortling, perhaps? I know, snorting!

Spread the joy, my friends!! LOL

Those of you who’ve read my novel, “Control Switch,” know that I’m a dialogue junky. I love it in novels; I love it in life.

Communication is the rich thread that weaves our lives together and gives power to our heart’s desires. It can both repair and destroy, and I would loathe living in a world where it didn’t exist. That’s why my heart aches for a woman who lived without it tonight.

I just finished sitting beside a young woman and her grandmother in a restaurant. Initially, I smiled when they sat down, thinking how refreshing it was to see them spending “quality time” together. But my smile soon disappeared. Why? The granddaughter proceeded to pull out her phone and stay on it through the entire meal. The only words she spoke to the beautiful soul across from her were, “Do you want cheese on that?” and “What do you want to drink?” She might as well have been the woman’s waitress.

From where I sat I could see the grandmother’s eyes, and she appeared ill at ease and heartbroken. I could also see the girl’s phone, and the thing that kept her from engaging and was so important? Facebook.

I know, I know – we see this all the time – but I’ll never come to terms with it. I love my technology as much as the next girl, and I spend my fair share of time using it, but it takes a backseat when I have someone I care about sitting across, beside or anywhere near me. Hell, I don’t even scroll through my newsfeed when I’m sitting across from someone I don’t care about!

This couple is another case in point. I sat beside them in a park for over an hour a few months ago, and not a word got spoken between them.

I implore those of you who give a shit to put your phones down and talk to the people that hold a place in your heart. They may not all have an online profile, but they do have a profile, nonetheless. A real one full of rich memories, dreams and stories worth hearing.

Let’s talk in hopes of never becoming that grandmother. Let’s talk to foster understand. Let’s talk to encourage love.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have children.

Maybe it’s because I’ve spent the last year being actively grateful.

Maybe it’s because I’ve decluttered and scaled down to just the things that truly bring me joy.

Maybe it’s because I’ve spent all of my Christmases, since the age of two, in the house my father built, and I dread the day that I no longer can.

Maybe it’s because I’ve finally figured out what matters – who matters – and why the things that shouldn’t don’t.

Regardless, I’m feeling both joyous and melancholy about Christmas this year. My favorite carols have been putting a literal song in my heart and a lump in my throat the size of a chestnut roasted on an open fire.

I treasure this time of year with family, and I want it to stay the way it’s always been – every year – forever.

Maybe that’s because of love.

 

I did it! I am officially decluttered and surrounded by joy. I still have
one or two things to take care of, namely the in-depth reading of old journals and letters, and the transferring of a few VHS tapes onto my computer using this handy dandy device (get one; they rock) —>

My overall place, however? I LOVE IT!

A quick recap for those who missed my prior posts: I started this project in May, which has entailed decluttering using the Konmari Method spelled out in, “The Life-Changing Method of Tidying up.” In it, author Marie Kondo suggests discarding items based solely on one criterion: whether or not they bring you joy.

First step involved clothing, followed by books, then papers, and eventually junk drawers and miscellaneous items. This past weekend I completed the most challenging category: all things sentimental (pictures, souvenirs, etc.).  Left until the end, this portion is theorized to be much easier once the rest of your place is brimming with joy, and it’s true! You don’t want anything around by this point that doesn’t do it for you.

Think about your photographs, for example. You know how you flip through an album (for those of us who still own such things), and on every fifth one or so you stop and smile? Ditch the four scenery pics you took somewhere that escapes your memory, and keep only the smile inducing one. I scaled down three entire albums, and the stray pics that were stuffed in a large box full of nonsense are now neatly tucked into one small container. I threw out a lot, and I’ll never miss the ones that went. All of my pics now make me smile.

I also got rid of a lot of greeting cards. I tended to keep most of them over the years, but think about it. Do I really need 20 cards from my Grandpa? No. I need one. Again, I still have letters to read, but they’re now scaled down to one small container, too, and some night I’ll read each one by a roaring fire. Handy for those that will no doubt beg to be incinerated.

I must admit, something I found I’ve missed during this process is the written word. I get emails from my mother and friends now, and I do save a lot of them in specially marked folders, but I loved the days when a long, newsy letter would arrive from home full of hometown clippings, recipes and updates on family milestones. And who could even consider ditching their official Sonny and Cher Fan Club acceptance letter? Not this girl. Smile inducing.

I’ve learned a lot about myself through this process, and trust me – this is not the first time I’ve de-cluttered. Those who know me know that I purge a minimum of once a year, but this truly is as “life-changing” as touted. The author swears that once you’ve done this, you’ll never revert to your old ways, and I believe it. Every closet and drawer that I started with six months ago remains joyously unchanged. Now when I walk in my door, I feel peaceful and happy. I look around my place and a sense of serenity envelopes me. I don’t just have a room to go to when I want to get away from it all; I have an entire home. And it feels like a “home” now instead of just an apartment to store stuff in and get some sleep. It’s my joyous space, and my creativity has ramped up significantly as a result.

I strongly recommend buying this book and taking on this project for yourself. It’s the ultimate catharsis that literally takes you from burdened to enlightened. You’ll weed through what you’ve hidden your joy behind and find your most authentic expression of self.

Can “things” really have that level of effect on us? You betcha.

If you make one resolution for 2016, resolve to surround yourself with nothing but joy. You’ll be amazed at who emerges in the end.

“JOY” TO THE WORLD!

An update on the decluttering exercise:

For those of you who have been following my little (not so little) adventure in ridding myself of excess, you’ll know that I started this project in the month of May. Yes, May. Unless I’m mistaken, however, Marie Kondo, author of the advice dolling book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” suggests completing this project within a six month timeframe (I’m sure I read that), so I would appear to be right on target. Not that I’m actually finished, but I’m close.

I’ve reported so far on cleaning out my clothes closet, disposing of books and ditching excess paper, but the project has gone far beyond that. Since my last report I have gone through CDs, DVDs, dishes, towels, linens, kitchen utensils, buttons, craft and office supplies, and even the dreaded junk drawer. I haven’t kept a complete tally on what’s gone out the door, but I know it’s over 20 bags of clothes and household items to Goodwill along with over 10 bags of garbage to the dumpster. It’s shocking to take stock to this extent and extremely rewarding.

What I’m most thrilled about is that the “life-changing” part holds true. At least, it does for me. Here are a few examples of how:

1. My clothes closet looks exactly like it did six months ago. No lie. And I still love it.
2. I’ve completely changed the way I shop. I’ve bought clothes since starting this project but nothing for my home. I have no interest.
3. When I do buy clothes, I make sure that they genuinely bring me joy. 
4. Nothing new has gone into my junk drawer in months. Seriously. It looks like this —>
5. I’m wearing and using things that I’d stored away for God knows what reason. I may have mentioned this before, but I found – after going through my clothes – that the items that brought me the most joy were the ones that I’d been wearing the least. Well, I wear them now, and I’m finding my truest and most joyous sense of style. So fun!

Why did I entitle this blog “Should I, or Shouldn’t I?” I’m torn about one horrendous pile of nonsense: journals. I’ve dug out approximately 30 of them, and they cover approximately the last ten years of my life. Although I highly doubt I’ll keep any, should I read them before they’re disposed of? Do I want to delve into the blithering nonsense of my younger self? Don’t we primarily write in journals, because we’re working through one issue or another? Part of me just wants to throw them in the fire and be done with it.

What would you do? Have you collected journals over the years? Have you read them at various stages and been glad you did, or did they just stir up a lot of crap that didn’t need revisiting? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

In the meantime, this picture shows all that’s left to be sorted. It doesn’t look like much, but in this mess are piles and files of sentimentality, including: family correspondence, love letters, greeting cards, newspaper clippings, postcards, pictures, negatives, etc., etc. < sigh > I may need to journal after this.

Stay tuned, my friends . . .