Leana Delle

I’ve been on this planet for a number of years at this point, and I’ve heard a lot of words of wisdom from folks. Most of those words came from patients during my active nursing career; a lot of them came from the dying. None, however, were as deep and meaningful as those shared by my dear friend, Jenesse Aurandt.

During the course of her battle with terminal breast cancer, Jenesse attended her own version of an accelerated spiritual learning program. I was blessed to sit in as a class proctor of sorts, benefiting from her thirst for answers and willingness to share. Periodically, I will be passing some of her teachings along to you through this blog. Tonight I’ll share one I was reminded of only recently.

Several years ago, while commiserating over some inane self-concept issue, Jenesse listened to me intently before shaking her head in disagreeance and saying:

“See yourself through the eyes of the people who love you.”

The woman had an acute ability to sift through bullshit and speak her insightful mind. This comment gave me definite pause for thought.

“In fact, see yourself the way I see you, and you can never go wrong,” she added.

Standing on the doorstep of inevitable death gives a person unsurpassed perspective. I can say this, because I’ve seen it firsthand – particularly during my four years of working on an oncology unit. Dare I say that the large majority of patients that I cared for said that getting cancer was the greatest gift they’d ever been given – even when terminal. Jenesse said the same thing. Her cancer brought clarity, and clarity brought her freedom from misconceptions and the trappings of the mundane.

For the longest time I remembered to put myself behind her eyes, and those of other friends and family, and see myself from a different perspective. It helped – a lot – but somewhere along the line I forgot and dropped the practice. Life, I suppose. It tends to distract from healthy approaches to most things.

Who reminded me to try it again? My good friend and podcast cohost, Mike C. Matthews. He didn’t say exactly what Jenesse said, but he made it clear that doubting myself was unwarranted. He simply reminded me that self-doubt is generated, quite literally, from the “self,” and that sometimes the best judgements of who we are come from those closest to us.

Be careful about where your opinions about you are coming from. Be careful about seeking them out in ineffective and potentially damaging ways. Instead, vow to show yourself the love and respect of those who objectively see your soul and purpose. Do this, and I promise, “you can never go wrong.”

 

This week I had the immense pleasure of meeting Joan Lunden after she spoke at Baylor Health Care System’s breast cancer luncheon, “Celebrating Women.”

Joan was diagnosed with the extremely aggressive form of breast cancer, triple negative, in 2014. She is now blessed to be in remission, following extensive treatment.

This woman’s speech moved me for two reasons:

1. Joan educates. Having interviewed Dr. Susan Love five years prior to her diagnosis, Joan went in for her mammogram armed with the knowledge that having dense breast tissue indicated the need to add ultrasound to her annual diagnostic testing. Joan’s mammogram showed no sign of cancer. Her ultrasound, however, did.
2. Joan cares. She is less than a year out from the time of diagnosis, and her travel/speaking schedule would tire the healthiest among us. She’s on a mission to inform, save lives and remind women that it’s okay to put themselves first to protect their physical and mental wellbeing.

Joan survived breast cancer. My friend, Jenesse, and my cousin, Judy, did not.

I’m heeding Ms. Lunden’s calls to action. I don’t have dense breast tissue, but I’m here to plead with my friends to find out, during their next mammogram, whether or not they do. Ask, and request an ultrasound as a supplemental diagnostic.

I’m also making the decision to put aside the next couple of months to get centered and create a solid practice of not burning my candle at both ends. This is where I need the help of my friends:

Be patient with me if I disappear for a while and you don’t hear from me.

Be forgiving if I turn down some of your invitations to social events.

Be welcoming when I resurface as a better version of moi.

I will be spending a lot of time with a few choice friends during my absence: the characters in my second novel. “Seasoned With Pepper” is begging for completion, and, sadly, the less time I’m able to spend on it, the more stressed I feel. It’s time to focus on focusing, so I’ll thank you in advance for your support and hug you on my return.

Joan Lunden’s ultrasound saved her life, and although I’d heard stories of survival in the past, this woman’s journey spoke to me in a new and impactful way. We’re all so incredibly blessed to have our health. Protect that and find your balance. We’re all worth it.

XO

 

 

 

 

Most of you know that I love to write, but few know where I love to write.

Writers have very unique preferences on atmosphere. I have a friend who requires a specific CD to be playing while sipping java from her favorite mug and wearing a particular ensemble. Most simply flourish in either complete seclusion or amidst the noise and visual stimulation of a public place. I prefer the latter, but I dream about one latter in particular. I yearn to write in Paris.

I have actually been to Paris – causing me to now crave its passion like a teenaged girl after a summer kiss – but, sadly, I’ve never gone there just to write.

I currently fly a lot domestically for work, which has created an obsession with rewards programs that borders on embarrassing. The goal? To earn enough points to visit Paris – alone – and spend several weeks in cafés with creativity, wine and flirtatious grins overflowing in abundance. But what to do in the meantime?

There’s only one answer: Go to South Carolina. Yes, South Carolina.

I recently had a work assignment in Rock Hill – a quaint and peaceful little town wrapped in southern charm just south of Charlotte, NC. With a little time to spare, I explored the main street and stopped in at a local café/bakery called Amélie’s.

Instantly my creative self got whisked up in a cloud of euphoria and dropped down in front of the most glorious pastries I’ve seen since rue des Abbesses. And the taste? Pure Parisian.

The decor, however, inspired me before the flavor’d had a chance. A kaleidoscope of whimsical, old world funk, my eyes jolted from unique piece to unique piece in a state of awe. The upside down Eiffel Tower transformed into a hanging lamp; the stunning fixture made of kitchen utensils at the front entrance; the eclectic collection of mismatched chairs and tables dispersed throughout the place. I found myself thinking, ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’ everywhere I turned. The woman that did think of that? Part owner and designer extraordinaire, Brenda Ische.

The face behind the counter topped off the experience for me. She approached wearing a stylish chapeau with the perfect accessory of aloof yet receptive French hospitality. Not to mention l’accent du pays. Voila! L’image était complète. 

The service, the food, the decor and the music (standards in both French and English) summoned my creative spirit like Lazarus from the grave. I never wanted to leave.

Amélie’s currently has four locations: one in Rock Hill, two in Charlotte, and one in Atlanta. And I’m not the only one who loves all that there is love about this place. The April edition of Buzz Feed magazine listed Amélie’s as one of the top “23 Bakeries Around the World You Need to Eat at Before You Die.” I list it as the number one bakery that you need to visit 23 x 10 times before you die.

This authentic feeling café has the perfect atmosphere for my authentic self in full artistic mode, which begs me to literally beg…

“Amélie, come to Dallas. I need you. My readers need you. S’il vous plait!”

For those who have been following my blog posts about de-cluttering, I’m here with step three. As previously mentioned, the Konmari Method suggests going in order of clothes first, books second and papers third. My first post, from May 19th, discussed my process of discarding ten huge garbage bags of clothing to Goodwill. My second post filled you in on how I scaled down from a trunkful of books to approximately 18 that give me joy and will continue to grace my bookshelves.

Did I take the remaining 120 or so books to Goodwill, as well? Some of them, but I also took the opportunity to turn my book purge into a social event, and it was a huge success. I highly recommend this as an addition to Marie Kondo’s many suggestions.

You will require the following:

–          A group of readers (I invited women over on a Friday after work)

–          Several bottles of wine

–          Snacks

–          Background music

–          Laughter

–        Instructions to take as many books home as desired – for free

I also threw in a few household items, knowing that one of our younger coworkers would be getting her first apartment next month. We had a lot of fun, and we got to know each other outside of the office. That is never a bad thing. Well, mostly never. With this group, it was awesome.

In this last couple of weeks I tackled papers. Yowza! You’ll have to trust me on this, since I didn’t do a “before” picture of my filing cabinet, but it was literally packed full, from top to bottom, leaving little room for more.

This is the “after” pic of my filing cabinet, and the bottom drawer now holds only a handful of empty files in case I need them, which I won’t. Old owner’s manuals, warranties, taxes greater than ten years old, paperwork from acquiring my U.S. immigration status, paperwork for nursing license applications, etc., even receipts for things that I no longer own – GONE!

The file contents that classify as “personal” have been set aside until I get to the last part of the de-clutter challenge – sentimental belongings (this one I dread the most).

Anyway, things just keep feeling lighter around here. I’m also happy to report that my clothes closet has not changed since I first organized it, and the only books I’ve bought are Kindle versions. It is my plan to never go back to unnecessary clutter again.

Okay, next up? Junk drawers, which pretty much defines all of my drawers, except those in the bedroom that now look organized, neat and joyful.

Stay tuned, and here’s hoping that I don’t burn out the motor of my shredder with this mountainous stack of nonsense ——>

What an amazing week! The Dutch sued their government over inaction on climate change and won, and this (see below picture) was airing on the television over baggage claim when my plane landed in Dallas on Friday:

WOW!

I love it when people have a voice and are actually heard. I love it when acceptance and tolerance win out over intolerrance and judgement. I really love it when my friends are given the same right as the rest of us to commit to the ones they love.  This makes me happy and alot of other folks, as well.

What else do I love? Positive change and difference, and it’s for that reason that I have jumped headlong into a really cool project: Co-host of the Podcast, “The Matthews and McGuire Show,” where Mike Matthews and myself work to “Harness the Power of Difference.”

Mike Matthews is my accountability partner and very good friend, despite the fact that we’re literally worlds apart in so many ways. We explain all of our differences in our first episode, so I’ll spare you the reiteration here. You can take a  listen via the following link:

THE MATTHEWS AND McGUIRE SHOW

I’m really excited about this project, because it’s inclusive and positive. I do hope that you check it out and come back for further episodes. And visit us at our “Matthews and McGuire” Facebook page. We’d love to hear your comments/feedback and suggestions for future topics.

Harness the power, my friends, and keep on loving your neighbor. 🙂

Leana Delle (McGuire)