“I’ve overcome a lot of things, so I know my strengths and my abilities. You have to decide who you’re going to be and tell that story versus continuing on with the story that everybody else has made you tell about yourself.”

A quote from Lisa Beth Brock and one hell of a takeaway. This woman decided who she was going to be and stuck with it, and that decision came when she was the furthest from her ideal self as you can possibly imagine. A disconnected family, an abusive stepfather, challenging diagnoses, and even drug abuse all dictated a far different outcome.

Most people who knew Lisa during her troubled youth had basically counted her out. They did not see a girl with a future; they saw a girl with a past, and no amount of convincing could sway their opinion that she’d eventually succumb to overdose. But something deep inside pulled her out of that existence.

“Decide who you want to be. Not who you are, but who you want to be, and then figure out how to get there. You’ll just start believing it more and more.”

This attitude is so consistent with the law of attraction and visualization, something Lisa and I are firm believers in. She created her vision, and the potential to get to that place skyrocketed.

“I know my heart, so I know who I am, and I don’t think at this point anybody will ever be able to take that away from me.”

Lisa’s story is an inspiring one that needs retelling. She continues to expand her vision of possibility, and she’s passionate about instilling the same in others; especially in her young daughter.

And what if people don’t like who you become or support the direction you choose?

“You’re not for everyone. You’re not going to be.”

BAM! Great quote, Lisa Beth Brock. Keep doing what you’re doing. The ones you are for, appreciate that you revised the first draft of your personal story.

You can listen to Lisa’s interview on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, or by clicking HERE.

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Along a path of hollow logs
Nestled in the woods,
Lay evidence of passersby
Their would haves, could haves, shoulds

Piled one atop the next
They tower o’er the ground,
Blocking sunlight from the sky
So not a flower’s found

Many seem content to pass
While adding to the stacks,
But for each would, could, should that’s left
They seem to gain in lack

I’m careful where I walk or step
For fear I’ll feel the urge,
To think of disappointments
Fall victim to the curse

Instead, I’m faithful in my quest
To find another way,
Where blessings shine like morning dew
Embracing light of day

And flowers bloom and hollows fill
All fed and nourished by,
I have, I will, I always did
And no one questions why

~ Leana Delle
Sunday, September 8, 2019
2019 Sunday Poetry Challenge – Number thirty-five of fifty-two
Photo Credit: Iva Rajović

Two awesome quotes; one phenomenal guest:

“What we focus on comes into our experience,” and “We create our own reality.”

Actually, there are more quotes than that – keep reading – but these two are the perfect starting point.

I know, I know. A great number of you are thinking that’s hogwash, but, in my opinion, this week’s guest, Christy Whitman, is right on the money. And, I think this why? Because I’ve had it work in my own life more times than I can count. Take, for example, my three giant vision boards (why make ’em small?). I look at them periodically and marvel at the fact that half of my “visions” have already shown up, and because of that, I intuitively know that the rest eventually will, too.

Not convinced? Well, just telling yourself that may be the problem.

“As you challenge your words, you shift your thoughts and then evidence of it starts to shift, as well. You really are that powerful, and if you feel afraid of that, it’s okay – it’s a natural process for most people. But understand that being afraid of it is only going to create more of what you don’t want, so focus on what you do.”

Is training our words and thoughts easy? It does take effort, but what our persistent inner voices are telling us now isn’t helping in the least. Christy notes that we’ve been raised, programmed, trained, imprinted (by good meaning parents and communities, I’m sure) with lack and to believe in limitation. So, when we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, or that we’re too old, or too uneducated to accomplish fill-in-the-blank, we’re already coming from a place of lack.

I always think of that infamous Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

“Thoughts are energy, and thoughts, when practiced enough, become beliefs. When we have a thought that we think over and over again, and then hear some evidence of it, than that becomes our reality. Once you have that belief, that’s what you see all the time. This is what we call the law of attraction or manifestation.”

Think of the car phenomenon (apparently it’s a car day). You know the routine: you buy a Hyundai, or one of Henry’s Fords, and and you start seeing them everywhere. If it’s in your consciousness, it keeps coming at you.

And one of the key steps in helping move this along, according to Christy, and evidenced by my own experience, is having appreciation and gratitude for what we have right now and getting excited about what’s on the way. It’s something I practice throughout each and every day, starting with a resounding THANK YOU when I wake up and another one before I go to sleep.

And what’s the risk if we ignore this existing law and don’t make it work in our favor? Besides wallowing in lack and never living the life we secretly dream about? Christy explains it beautifully:

“Playing small doesn’t serve the world.”

BAM! That quote’s going on my next vision board!

THANK YOU, Christy!

You can hear Christy’s awesome interview on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, or by clicking HERE.

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I have a confession to make. I hate blogging.

What?! A writer who doesn’t like to write?!

No, that’s not it, at all. I love to write. I’m just not great at obligatory anything. I’ve tried – I really have – but something about You have to post blogs weekly, and Instagram pics daily, and tweets every few hours, drives me batshit crazy. That’s what actually got me writing poetry. I figured I could write a poem weekly without much trouble, and I’ve been consistently doing that now for over 30 weeks (I’ll post another one on Sunday). But, in general, having to sucks the joy right out of most things for me.

Lately, however, I find myself reflecting on life and some of the observations I’ve made along the way. If it’s okay with you, I’m going to share some of those on random days with no set schedule. Just purely for the joy of it.

So, no big surprise, this installation on observations is about obligation. Are we obligating ourselves to be obligated, or are we beating ourselves up trying to fulfill other people’s expectations? Isn’t that what obligations really are? Other people’s expectations?

– You have to go to that baby shower. They’ll be expecting you.
– You can’t not go to church. What will people say?
– You have to drink at the corporate retreat. You’ll look like an outcast.

And? Your point is?

Look, I get that sometimes things come up, and I get that we want to support the people we love and make them happy, but some of us are knocking ourselves out going to and doing things that we simply would rather not do. Does that take a toll? You betcha. Throw in varying degrees of the disease to please, and our health and general sense of self fade into oblivion.

I think that all of this can be summed up with one word: boundaries. If I feel obligated by some branding guru to blog once or twice a week, I’ll never want to write again. I need to protect that. If I drink at a corporate retreat to fit in, I’ll hate myself afterward. I need to defend that. Even if I get passed over for a promotion because I didn’t pass out, so be it. And in my experience, and in most instances, people adjust.

This world has become a fast-paced, crazy-making machine, and unless we take as many steps as possible to maintain our sanity, we’re done.

You know what? I lied. There’s one obligation that I do like: the obligation to protect my authenticity. And, apart from supporting the people I love on their journeys, which I’ll always do, I plan to keep meeting that obligation at every turn.

Thoughts?

Oh, and by the way, you were never obligated to read this.

Leana

Photo credit: Nick Morrison

If there was a place I could go to
A place that no one could find,
I’d sail in a boat on an ocean
And stop at the entrance of time

No need for permission to enter
No need for credentials or name,
Just time standing still in one moment,
Just time never asking who came

I’d let my boat float off without me
And stand all alone on the shore,
Never again to grow older
Never again to want more

Where no one I love could go missing
And no one I love could draw near,
Suspended in time in one moment
Free and devoid of all fear

For moments when strung all together
Are those of the most dangerous kind,
They give and they take without warning
Pushing and leaving behind

But one solid moment to stay in
One where the winds never blow,
A place without sorrow or sadness
That’s where my heart wants to go

~ Leana Delle
Sunday, September 1, 2019
2019 Sunday Poetry Challenge – Number thirty-four of fifty-two
Photo Credit: Toomas Tartes

“Time is absolutely, hands down, the most valuable asset we have. You’re not so much operating in the what if, you’re dealing with right now. That’s why everything is one day at a time. It’s one foot; one breath.”

Aalia Lanius speaks from the heart, and her heart has seen its share of struggles. Abandonment, homelessness, domestic violence, loss, even cancer. But all of these challenges are in her rearview mirror. She’s now focused on the future and practicing genuine gratitude every step of the way. Even on her worst days, she hears a very determined inner voice:

Award-winning novelist “It’s saying, ‘Aalia, you can do more than that,’ and inside I want to. ‘Your pain and suffering has a purpose, and you know that you don’t want someone else to go through some of things you went through.’“

Hers is a noble mission that includes everything from spearheading non-prophets to writing thought-provoking novels, all with a focus on empowering others. In fact, L.A.’s upcoming Empowercon is her brainchild, and I have no doubt that it will be a huge success.

From the moment I started interviewing Aalia, I was swept up in her exuberant energy, her level of authenticity, and her heartfelt motives. She’s the real deal, girlfriends, and she’s here to help shift your focus to the positive.

You can hear Aalia’s inspiring interview on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, or by clicking HERE.

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In the grandest scheme of things and dreams
You took a little longer,
Standing at a forest wall
Of fears that made it stronger

Safe I felt, while resting there
Protected in contentment,
Wondering every now and then
If love just brought resentment

Thinking that it’s not from hearts
As sonnets often claim,
But twisted by the hands of fools
A few I’ve known by name

Then in you came, with tool and blade
Wrestling through the fortress,
Determined, sure, to prove me wrong
And shift the vision toward us

I watched, I waited, for a sign
To prove you like the others,
But years did pass with ne’er a hint
Of heart’s desires smothered

Now gone the forest, moved the trees
Allowing in the light,
I rest in arms of true intent
And share my soul’s delight

~ Leana Delle
Sunday, August 25, 2019
2019 Sunday Poetry Challenge – Number thirty-three of fifty-two
Photo Credit: Kristina Litvjak

Sally Helgesen knows of what she speaks. As a leadership coach, she’s been working with women at very senior levels for 30 years, while providing endless leadership based workshops and writing books. I think I can speak for all women when I say, we’re super grateful for it all!

Her latest book, How Women Rise, cowritten with leadership guru Marshall Goldsmith, is a culmination of her work, and it’s been a total game-changer for me, both professionally and personally. I couldn’t put it down!

Marshall originally wrote, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, which focuses on behaviors most likely to get in the way for successful people. But his research came from a heavily male coaching base, and women had trouble relating to some of the advice. For example: don’t always say you’re the person who’s right, or learn to apologize.

To Sally’s point, some of us can hardly open a door without apologizing. She suggested to Marshall that they write a book combining his fundamentals with information more directed toward women, and How Women Rise was born.

In the book, and during her interview, Sally talks about specific behaviors that may serve us early in our careers but can get in the way as we advance to more senior levels. There are 12 in total:

– Reluctance to Claim Your Achievements
– Expecting Others to Spontaneously Notice and Reward Your Hard Work
– Overvaluing Expertise
– Building Rather than Leveraging Relationships
– Failing to Enlist Allies from Day One
– Putting Your Job Before Your Career
– The Disease to Please
– The Desire to be Perfect
– Speaking While Emotional
– Minimizing
– Ruminating
– Letting Your Radar Distract You

In full transparency, the first three on the list are my culprits, but I recognize others as being more prominent during different periods of my life and career.

Sally also points out that a lot of us suffer from what she calls, People will think I am if I . . .

“Women have so much fear around being perceived as out for themselves or too ambitious. We often hold ourselves back, because we’re trying to manage people’s expectations rather than behaving in a way that’s appropriate but does, yes, serve our interests.”

And she’s here to tell you that the world doesn’t fall apart if we conduct ourselves more authentically.

“Sometimes when you behave in unexpected ways, people are a little uncomfortable, but if you give them a chance to get used to it, they do.”

Yes, they most certainly do. I’ve found this to be true just since reading the book!

And what about perfectionism? Aren’t most of us trying to do it all and do it just right?

“When I have seen women at very senior levels not get a promotion that one on paper would have expected them to get, it’s often because of perfectionism. I’ve been doing this a long time, and I have never once heard anybody say, ‘Oh, I work for a perfectionistic boss, and I love it!'”

Truth!

I thoroughly expected to enjoy my conversation with Sally after reading her book, and I was right. Intelligent, funny, and super knowledgable, we rounded out her interview, discussing how life experiences lead us to that thing that will ultimately bring clarity and fulfillment, even in the face of self-doubts and ineffective behaviors.

“You just have to be patient and trust that there’s something unfolding.”

Now, that’s a takeaway!

You can listen to Sally’s interview on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, or by clicking HERE.

Rise up, girlfriends!

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There are days I have, I spend
Staring at a screen,
Binging on some nonsense show
That’s pointless scene to scene

Hair a mess, a braless chest
With PJs my attire,
Eating all my cupboards bare
And napping by the fire

It isn’t that I’m sad or sick
Or hiding from the world,
It’s simply that I need the rest
As dreams prep to unfurl

At times that voice, that pesky nag
Chimes inside my head,
Get up, get out, get at it,
There’s a list from A to zed

But over years, I’ve found a way
To shut the nagging off,
I close my eyes and take a breath
and whisper, “That’s enough.”

I visualize, I see instead
A caterpillar fair,
Wrapped gently in a warm cocoon
Awaiting wings to bare

And when at last I’m finished, done
With resting safe inside,
My metamorphosis will end
And consciousness will rise

~ Leana Delle
Sunday, August 18, 2019
2019 Sunday Poetry Challenge – Number thirty-two of fifty-two
Photo Credit: Marco Giraldo

If you look up the definition of perseverance in the dictionary, you’ll see Beth Fraser’s picture. Well, maybe not literally, but she should be in there. She never gives up.

Beth’s first acting role was as Wilbur the pig in a 2nd grade production of Charlotte’s Web. That’s where she got the bug. Not the spider; the acting bug, and it’s never left. Not even in the face of discouragement from her well-meaning parents. When she got old enough to pursue what she wanted, L.A. beckoned.

As is the case with most passionate journeys, Beth’s hasn’t been easy. She’s very honest about dry spells and periods of self-doubt, but she admits . . .

“I have to keep going. I can’t think of anything else I want to do with my life.”

A lot of us can relate to this. I’ve often said on the podcast that I can’t not show up. It’s a calling, and if I don’t listen (or talk as the case may be), I suffer.

“There are plenty of things that we have other skills for, but what fills you? What feels right?”

It’s an age-old question, Beth, and many of us can relate to that need for fulfillment. I mean, after all, were we put on this earth to just pay bills and be good consumers? I don’t think so. At least when we come to the end of our run we can say that we did what we loved, regardless of the scale of the thing. I suspect that Beth’s scale is heading off the charts!

“If you want to do it, you make it work.”

Amen, Girlfriend!!

You can hear Beth’s interview on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, or by clicking HERE.

Oh, and she’s an avid reader and wine pairer, so I can’t wait to hear which wine she sips while reading my novel!

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