Leana Delle

Wow. This “life-changing” book has literally started changing my life! Go figure.

In my last post I talked about my project of decluttering based on the KonMari method in the book, “The Life-Changing Method of Tidying Up.” I finished going through clothes two weeks ago, so I’m bravely re-sharing my “before” pic and proudly including the “after.”

What’s left in my cheerful little closet? Only clothes, shoes and bags that bring me joy. Be warned, however: KonMari is not for the hurried or impatient. It’s a huge undertaking and a huge “taking,” as well – as in ten bags to Goodwill, thus far. But I can’t tell you how “joyous” it is to be wearing clothes that truly express who I am on any given day.

What I’m learning to develop is a keen eye for delight. I can already see a myriad of items that will be moved on to someone who can better enjoy their possession, since I no longer do. In the meantime, I’ll continue following the prescribed order and declutter by category – the second of which was books.

I had all of these books hidden away in a trunk in case I wanted to read one of them “someday.” Yeah, right. I’ve been dragging them around for almost 20 years. Ms. Kondo suggests that if you want to read a particular book “someday,” to purchase it on that day and start reading it right there and then. I’m heeding her advice, and these are all going to more deserving homes. I have about 18 left that will lovingly remain on my shelf.

It’s odd, but I almost feel as though a weight has been lifted off of me. Imagine how much lighter the effect will be when the weight has been lifted off my dining room table. This project rocks!

Next up? Papers. My overstuffed filing cabinet is calling out to me for air, its lungs congested and unable to expand. No, I do not look forward to this task, nor did I look forward to the last two, but – oh – how I love the results.

My biggest issue at this point is trying to reign in my desire to shop since I now know how fun it can be to not purchase something solely for practicality or function. If I have anything left that falls into those two categories, there still has to be full-on joy attached, as well.

Now, should I have bought that spoon rest today, because the potter looked exactly like Kevin Costner? <sigh> What can I say? I’m a work in progress.

 

 

I am a serial declutterer (I may have just made up a word). Once every six months to a year, I rummage through closets to get rid of things – like that concert T-shirt that never got worn or the “Alright, I’ll admit my butt is that big” pair of jeans. The process can be cathartic, but before long – clutter overtakes me once again.

Recently my friend, Camille, began an intense decluttering exercise based on the KonMari method in this book. She’s been blogging about it (check out “Wake Up, Mama!“), and it sounded intriguing enough that I decided to  jump aboard and try it myself.

The author of the book, Marie Kondo, instructs readers to declutter by category instead of area in your home, beginning with clothing. She further advises taking all of your clothes, placing them in one big pile and ditching anything that doesn’t bring you joy. That’s right, joy. Even those items that you “kind of like” have to go. Real joy is all that can stay.

I can tell you that I was incredibly overwhelmed when I saw all of my clothes out of closets, drawers and dressers and in one gargantuan heap. Initially, flopping down on top of them, I silently cursed Camille (no offense, my friend) but eventually let out a long sigh and got to work.

The task went much easier then anticipated, but it still presented its challenges. I knew which things blatantly made my heart sing and which ones didn’t, but I waffled on several items that hit the “not so sure,” category.  That’s when I realized that if I’m having to question whether or not something brings me joy, it doesn’t.

It took two days to go through every piece of clothing I own, and I still have socks, tights and underwear to sort through this coming weekend. So far, however, I have accumulated ten large green garbage bags full of clothes and shoes that don’t bring me joy. TEN!

My initial reaction? ‘Why on earth did I ever buy, keep or wear items that didn’t bring me joy?’ I was then stunned to discover that the items that do bring me joy are the ones that I’ve been wearing the least. This shocking revelation made me downright sad. I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t been wearing them, but it had nothing to do with protecting them or saving them for special occasions. I can only theorize that I left them hanging in the name of conformity. Not to say that my joy garb is outlandish; that’s not the case at all. It’s actually feminine, expressive and happy, but maybe there’s been a little fear associated with letting my true self shine. Who knows?

I think we are all capable of SO much in our most authentic forms of expression, but that comes with entirely new versions of vulnerability. It’s easier to stay stuck in what’s safe, don’t you think?

I now LOVE my closet – truly. I can easily access what I want, and it’s full of only those things that make me truly happy. I am left with no choice but to wear my “joy garb” – that’s all there is to choose from, which really excites me.

Next step, according to the author, is to go through books. I’m bracing myself for that task, but I can already tell that it’s going to be a lot easier than previously anticipated. When I walk into my new and improved closet, I feel an overwhelming desire to have the rest of my apartment give me that same fabulous feeling. Just imagine – an entire living space full of joy!

I want it. I’m ready. Bring it on.

Stay tuned for updates . . .

 

 

I consider myself to be driven – around the bend most of the time, but nonetheless. I didn’t used to be, until I found something I have a passion for. Now I can’t stop, unless, of course, I’m forced to.

Last week productivity and creativity came to a standstill, and for good reason. I’ll no doubt write more about this at another time, but my lifelong best friend just had emergency surgery to repair a dissecting aortic aneurysm. It is said that the immediate mortality rate in aortic dissection is as high as 1% per hour over the first several hours, so when you combine the time that he hemmed and hawed about seeking help, and the time it took to diagnose and have him air lifted to a facility prepared to handle him, it’s a miracle the man’s alive – literally. And I’m extremely grateful he is.

I flew to Toronto to be with him and help out for a week. During that time nothing else mattered – just my friend. No regrets. I love the guy.

On my return, however, I got a serious case of the shoulds. As lethargic as a kitten with a belly full of milk (you can thank my grandmother for that one), I lay on the couch in my PJs for two full days binging on the latest hits from Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Initially I hated it, because Saturday consisted of self-berating thoughts like: “I should be writing.” “I should be working out.” “I should be researching.” “I should be doing laundry.” “I should be blogging!!” Trust me, the list goes on. <sigh> On Sunday I decided not to give a should anymore.

That’s the problem with being driven. It’s challenging at times to just let go and chill. I can set it all aside when a friend is in need, but I have a problem doing the same when I am. And I was definitely in need – of both physical and emotional rest.

Sometimes we’ve got to give ourselves permission not to give a should. Trying to force productivity when we’re exhausted and vulnerable creates nothing more than frustration and self-doubt.

Letting the sails down and just floating can be the best medicine during stressful times in our lives. Shit’s always going to happen. When it does, find a comfy couch, grab the remote and stop shoulding on yourself.

Capital One asks, “What’s in your wallet?”

I ask, “Who’s in your contacts?”

Am I talking about your string of friends on Facebook? No. I’m talking about who you’re really in touch with.

I have a handful of people that I reach out to via text or phone call on any given week. I’m not including my mechanic, chiropractor or tailor here. I’m talking about people who I communicate with by choice, not necessity.

I’ve recently added a couple of phenomenal people to my list who push me outside of my comfort zone and challenge me to be my absolute best. They continually inspire, and I aspire to reciprocate.

Think about that statement. How true!

If you’re hanging out with two people who are extremely negative, you’ll be the third. If you’re hanging out with just one person who is passionately pushing toward their dream, you’ll be unstoppable.

My social networks have morphed over the years as I’ve become more confident in myself. I no longer seek people to simply party or “hang” with. Instead I seek authenticity and drive, which, once found, I can’t help but reflect in my own behavior.

If you’re surrounded by mediocre at best, you’ll be mediocre and not your best.

It’s that simple.

Stay tuned for more on this topic in future posts . . .

 

 

 

 

 

I had a great dinner last night with two women that I haven’t seen in a year. We hadn’t spoken in that time period, either. Did it matter? No, and that, to me, is the true definition of friendship. They agreed. We discussed it at length.

There may be a few people in my life for whom I present a challenge -primarily due to my love affair with solitude and fierce protection of “creative time.” A handful of my nearest and dearest, however, completely understand my penchant for space, and we raise our glasses high when “we time” manages to present itself.

My fabulous friend, Jan (aka Jamice), in this picture is a prime example. One of my all-time besties, we rarely converse or see each other, and yet we can pick up right where we left off when our paths reconnect. It’s also important to note that each of us would drop what we’re doing to help the other in a heartbeat. That’s a given.

I am extremely blessed to have a number of relationships like this in my life. I believe it’s due to a perfect balance of busy and fulfilling lives mixed with strong mutual respect.

Think about the people in your life. Do any of your friendships feel conditional? Or worse, yet, do you find yourself expecting specific behaviors from your friends and constantly becoming disappointed, because they don’t live up to your standards? I’ll admit to having fallen into the latter a few times – even recently – but when I remind myself that my life is richer by letting go of expectations and embracing individual uniqueness, my frustrations melt into warm affection.

Friendship is a promise

Made in the heart

Unbreakable by distance

Unchangeable by time

Genuine thanks to my handful of soul brothers and sisters who give me my space and occasionally share a bit of their wonderful selves when mutual time allows. You know who you are, and you know that I love you – something we’ve proven that time and/or distance can never alter. xo